Crash Course
by ShadowSong StarGlaive The Wolf
Summary: Oneshot : A trip to the grocery store turns into a driving lesson for Wanda. Hex powers and road rage? This can't be good.


A/N Okay, partially this idea was from Red Witch's 'Sunday Drive' where she mentioned Logan had to give driving lessons to Wanda and Kitty. So I just made it that the lessons were given to Wanda by Lance (with Todd tagging along 'cause he loves Wanda xD). Well, they all live together.

Set after The Toad, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, cause Wanda isn't hunting down Magneto anymore.

Disclaimer: If I owned X-Men Evolution, then it'd be on the air again, new episodes, and they'd add more Brotherhood. And cats. LOTS more cats.

(Crash Course)

It all started with a trip to the grocery store.

"We're out of milk!" called Fred from the kitchen, his head in the nearly empty refrigerator. "Whoa, I've never seen cheese that shade of green before."

"We're out of bread too!" added Pietro from upstairs, where he was styling his hair.

"I think we're out of everything," groaned Todd, who was trying to catch flies from around the empty garbage can. "And with no food, no trash, no flies!"

"Yeah, cause **that's** what were all worried about," drawled Wanda sarcastically, looking up from her book. Sprawled out on the couch, she leaned her head back and asked, "You know, would it be too hard just to go and get food?"

"If we had money, cuddlebumps," Todd reminded her. "Last time I checked we were fat broke, yo."

"HA!" triumphantly yelled a voice from the front foyer, the door slamming, shaking the house. "I got some money!" Lance walked into the living room.

"I wish everyone said that every time they walked in the door," wistfully sighed Fred.

"Wow, things are really hopping here," commented Lance, looking at the laziness personified as the Brotherhood drowned in sloth.

"Oooooh! How much?" Pietro zoomed downstairs, and counted the bills in Lance's hand. "Twenty? That could buy me some of this great new shampoo line-"

"Pietro, the rest of us- the _sane_ people- were thinking along the lines of food," groaned Wanda, getting up. "We'd better go before the store closes-"

"A FLY!" yelled Todd, lunging at the innocently flying insect behind Lance, knocking him down and sending the earth shaker crashing to the floor.

"Aw man! Missed!" complained Todd, sitting on the floor forlornly.

Well, not quite on the floor.

"Todd, get off of my chest. I can't breathe," wheezed Lance from under the froglike mutant.

"Aiie," nervously chuckled Todd, jumping off Lance.

"Umph!" gasped Lance as the enhanced-strength legs pummeled into his chest and pushed off him. "Owww…"

"Oops!" said Todd, bending down. "Here I can help-"

"No thanks!" rasped Lance. "I'm fine." His voice rose about an octave.

"Well, he's in no condition to try driving," said Pietro. "So I'll do it!"

"**NO**!" shouted the rest of the Brotherhood in unison.

"Let's have someone with more than fuzz in their brain behind the wheel," decided Wanda. "I'll do it, for the sake of everyone else on the streets of Bayville."

"More like the world," commented Fred.

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A few minutes later, Lance, Wanda, and Todd got into the Jeep and started off down the road.

"Hey Wanda, have you ever driven a car before?" asked Lance nervously when she started the whack the wheel to turn on the car.

"No," she replied. "Now how do you turn this on?"

"You mean we're turning this into a driving lesson?" groaned Lance.

"Do you want me to wreck your car trying to turn it on?" Wanda retorted, slamming her fist on the wheel a few times, sending it honking. "Well that didn't work. Do you guys know how to hotwire this thing?"

"We are**not **hotwiring my car!" snapped Lance, reaching over and jamming the key in the ignition and twisting it. "There!"

"Why didn't you give me that in the first place?" snapped Wanda.

"You should've asked!" yelled Lance, losing it.

"Um, we're wasting gas," commented Todd from the back. "So can we go now?"

Wanda shoved her foot down on the gas, and they shot forward, narrowly missing a mailbox.

"WHOA! Wanda, slow down! You almost took out a mailbox!" shouted Lance, holding onto the sides of the car for dear life.

"And a cat," added Todd, looking behind them. "Well his tail will never be the same again, I'll say that. Hey, I rhymed!"

"STOP SIGN!" yelled Lance, pointing at the red signal a few yards ahead of them.

"What sign?" casually said Wanda, hexing it into a nearby bush.

"Oh man…" blinked Lance. "This isn't good…."

"Sweetie, street light coming up, and it's red!" cried Todd, hoping she wouldn't hex the lights.

Instead, she just sped through, to all the honking and curses that came from the people waiting.

"Oh stuff it!" she yelled out the window. "It's not like you wouldn't do it too!"

"Great, Scarlet Witch on road rage," moaned Lance. "If I just jump out the window here I can avoid confrontation with the cops."

"Speaking of the Fuzz… is he following us?" Todd asked, pointing to a cop car that was hot on their trail.

"I hope those bushes are soft," muttered Lance, looking out the window at the garden arrangements of the houses along the street.

"Wanda, sweetie, the cop wants us to slow down," explained Todd to Wanda.

"Tough," she said, and hexed him into the bushes.

"Oh, so they are soft," said a surprised Lance, noting their spring when the police car crashed into them. "I'll have to look into those for the backyard."

"What is that?" asked Wanda, pointing towards a speed bump not that far ahead of them. "Why the heck would someone put a mound of tar in the middle of the road?"

"Haven't you heard of speed bumps?" asked Lance, confused.

"Insane asylum," coughed Todd.

"Oh yeah," said Lance. "That would make sense- WANDA DON'T HEX IT!"

But the damage was done, and the speed bump sank into itself, leaving a semi-circle dip in the road. As fast as they were going, they should've sped right over it- but when Lance yelled, Wanda slowed down and hit the semi-circle, flipping the car over and back on it's wheels again.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Todd, clinging to the side of the car.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" bellowed Lance, diving down below the dashboard.

"Weenies," sniffed Wanda. "Look, we're here- uh oh."

"What? What happened to my car?" Lance shot up from under the seat.

"Besides the obvious?" asked Todd, pointing a shaking finger at the scratched sides and bashed- up bumper.

"We left the money back at the house. We're gonna have to drive back again to get it," explained Wanda. "So I guess- Lance, why did you just jump into the bushes?"

(End Story)

A/N I really don't know if cars can do that, but then again, I have yet to hear of a hexed speed bump. : )

Oh, and about not knowing what a speed bump is- I bet they don't teach you those things when you're like nine (which is when I think Wanda was put away) and I kinda doubt Mastermind added memories of speed bumps to Wanda's mind when he messed with it. So yeah. XD

Read, enjoy, and review!


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